


Stupid Dog

by WacheyPena



Series: Ringverse [1]
Category: Justice League & Justice League Unlimited (Cartoons)
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-25
Updated: 2012-10-25
Packaged: 2017-11-17 00:25:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/545488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WacheyPena/pseuds/WacheyPena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Krypto the Superdog has a problem, and it's up to Superman and Batman to try and fix it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stupid Dog

**Author's Note:**

> Was written as a Christmas gift, and established S/B relationship.

“I hate your dog,” Batman stated plainly, entering the bedroom he had just walked out of.

Having hoped for a second round in bed, Superman sighed, and asked, “What did he do now?”

“He ate my belt.”

“What do you mean he ate it?” Superman asked skeptically.

“He ate my entire utility belt,” the Dark Knight repeated blankly. He hoped one of his batarangs exploded inside the mutt, but he wasn’t going to say that to his lover. That and he didn’t want to explain why he was really upset about the dog eating his belt.

After a moment’s pause, Kal stated, “I’ll wait for him to poop it out.”

“You know I hold the ring in there, right?” Batman stated.

“Crap! He’s going to die!” Superman exclaimed.

“Exactly, but as I said before, I hate your dog,” Batman then said.

“Bruce, is this because of what he did to you last week?”

 

\----Flashback----

Rushing into the Fortress, Superman tried to pinpoint where the emergency beeping was coming from. The last thing he ever wanted when he got into a relationship with Bruce was for him to get hurt, and Kal would never forgive himself if something did happen.

Using his x-ray vision, he finally found the Dark Knight in the computer room, but stared, stunned, for a second at what was really going on. He then proceeded to laugh.

“Clark, get your ass in this room right now, or I swear to god, you will never receive a blow job from me again,” Bruce threatened in a low voice. He had heard his lover’s amusement of his situation.

In a flash, Superman flew in and removed Krypto quickly before he could hump Batman’s leg any further.

\----End Flashback----

 

The memory brought a smirk to Kal’s face, but he quickly lost it once he received a glare from his lover.

“It was agreed that we’d never mention that again, but seeing as you have, I guess I’ll have to punish you,” Batman started to say.

“No! Please, no! I won’t mention it again! I promise, please! Let me make it up to you, Bruce!”

“You really want to make it up to me?” The Dark Knight said in a husky tone, running his hand down along his lover’s chest.

Thinking he was about to get some again, Superman nodded eagerly. Only, to his shock, when Batman spoke in his ear, he heard, “Then neuter your dog.”

 

\----Some other day----

“J’onn, get the med lab ready, Superman needs help,” Batman said, appearing calm on the outside, but all nerves inside.

Batman had been alerted that the Man of Steel requested assistance, and arrived on the scene just in time to see his lover fall to the ground in obvious pain. Seeing as he had been fighting Metallo, he had assumed Kal was shot with some type of kryptonite beam.

Thankfully, Wonder Woman had also arrived and defeated the villain as both Batman and Superman were transported back to the Watchtower.

“Bruce, listen to me—” Kal tried to say, his voice giving away how much pain he was in.

“This is no time for goodbyes, you’re going to be fine dammit,” Batman cut him off sternly. His lover had to live, especially if he was going to do what he was going to do later on.

Confused, Superman tried to reply, “What? Bruce, I’m trying to tell you—”

“I know what you’re trying to say, and I’m saying don’t.”

“But I—” Kal tried again.

“Care for me, I know. I care for you, too, but we don’t need to say that, because you’re not dying,” Batman asserted, and this made Superman smile.

“I think they need a moment alone,” Flash whispered to J’onn, having come in to see what was going on. The Martian nodded, smirking in a secretive way, and left the room along with the speedster.

Batman appeared angry that they left though, because his lover needed medical help and he wouldn’t get it with them gone. He was about to go outside and demand they return when Kal said, “You’re right, Bruce, I’m not dying. So will you calm down and let me explain something to you?”

“What is it?” the Dark Knight asked, suddenly feeling dread.

“I’m pregnant,” the Kryptonian said seriously, but started laughing at the shocked and horrified expression on his lover’s face before saying, “I’m kidding, Bruce.”

“But seriously, Lois made me eat some of her homemade meatloaf, and well, you know how terrible of a cook she is.”

Obviously angry, but keeping his voice low, Batman replied, “Aw, poor baby, would you like me to get Alfred to cook up something for you? Well too bad. As of now, you are not allowed in my house or inside me for the rest of the month.”

With that, Batman stormed out of the room and with one glare, scared Flash into hiding for five minutes.

“Um, maybe I shouldn’t have made that joke,” Kal said to himself.

 

\----A week later----

Bruce Wayne had just finished sitting through a long and dull board meeting. He had kind of hoped that it would be stimulating enough to keep him distracted from his real thoughts, but he realized in less than a second that that wasn’t going to happen. So while his board members discussed a need to increase production for some item he couldn’t remember, Bruce kept thinking about how he hadn’t gotten any in an entire week.

It was the first week of Kal’s punishment for making him worry, and pretty much make a fool of himself in front of Flash. Now he’d have to remind the speedster of all the embarrassing material he had on him. Say for example, the time Booster Gold dared him to run through the Watchtower naked. Everyone just saw a blur, but thanks to Superman, Batman now knew Wally had a Green Lantern tattoo on his hip.

Thinking of ways to humiliate Flash was actually pleasing, and Bruce began to forget why he was originally frustrated. Suddenly, he felt a gust of wind, and then found himself on the large round bed in the Fortress of Solitude. Standing in front of him, was a very naked and aroused Kal-El.

“I thought I told you—” Bruce began in protest.

Crawling onto the bed, Kal put a hand on his lover’s lips to silence him, and explained, “You said I can’t visit the manor. When I picked you up, you weren’t there. You also said I can’t be inside of you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be inside of me.”

With reasoning like that, how could Bruce protest further? Very easily, as Krypto appeared in the doorway barking cheerfully.

Kal was reminded again to neuter the dog.

 

\----A few days later----

The couple had taken advantage of the loopholes in Batman’s punishment often enough to make it appear as if it didn’t exist, and Bruce now had very sore arms. That didn’t stop him from teleporting into the Fortress again, though.

What did stop him, however, was what he found in the medical facility.

“What the hell are you doing? Cheating on me with the dog?!” Batman exclaimed.

“No! Oh god, no! This…this is just something the vet told me to do,” Superman replied, stopping his actions, which made Krypto whine.

“They told you to jerk off your dog?” The Dark Knight asked flatly.

“Well, technically no medical equipment can neuter him, so I was told this is the next best thing to do. It’s either that or let him loose and make super-puppies with a bunch of other dogs,” Superman explained.

Turning around, Batman started to head out of the Fortress, but stated before his lover could protest, “I’ll find some bitches.”

Bruce then purchased two tickets for the Eukanuba Tournament.

 

\----In the Batcave the next day----

“Let me get this straight, you two have been fighting about the dog?” Dick asked, not yet dressed in costume.

“No, we have not been fighting because neither of us disagrees about the fact that Krypto needs to be controlled,” Batman explained.

“Then why haven’t you let him visit the Manor? It’s not because of what happened last time, is it?”

 

\----Flashback----

“AH! AH! AAHH! AAAH!” Bruce screamed, as Kal practically slammed into him, hitting his prostate with every thrust. He had already come three times, and was amazed the Kryptonian could go so long without coming once in the five hours they had been going at it.

Batman had to patrol in an hour, but Bruce knew he’d be too sore to do so tonight. He figured he’d just ask Kal to do it instead, and found it amusing imagining the surprise of his rogues when Batman was suddenly invulnerable to bullets.

Then the thought of how sexy his lover would look in his uniform sprang to mind. It also got him hard again. He’d have to ask if they could do that fantasy later.

It wasn’t long before Bruce felt another orgasm start to hit, when suddenly someone burst through his bedroom door.

“Bruce are you—oh god! I am so sorry!” Dick shouted covering his eyes. He had heard the screams, and assumed Bruce was being attacked.

“Get the hell out,” the older man tried to shout, but it came out too hoarse.

Thankfully, Dick got the message and practically ran off, back to the cave and out on patrol.

The sex then continued, unhindered.

\----End Flashback----

 

“…no. But now that you mention it, I’d like to remind you that I don’t scream under any circumstances, unless Clark has been exposed directly to the sun or red kryptonite.”

“Okay, I’ll stash that away somewhere I won’t remember,” Dick muttered then asked, “So why can’t he come over?”

“He’s under punishment, you know that,” Batman stated.

“If he was really under punishment, would you have sore arms?” Nightwing, now fully dressed, replied sarcastically.

Partially glaring, the Dark Knight decided to reveal his real reason for keeping his lover out of the manor and pulled out a certain item from his utility belt. After a gasp and a few nods, it was understood between the two and they didn’t discuss it further, or at least not out loud where certain Kryptonian ears could hear.

Also, Poison Ivy had decided to attack downtown, so that left the subject to be dropped too, if only for it to come up again later because she managed to steal that certain item.

To say Batman was furious would’ve been an understatement, especially when they lost track of Ivy. Her plants had kept him and Nightwing tied up for way too long, and to spite them he set the vines on fire.

“How are we going to track her down? I mean, we could contact Superman, but then he’d find out,” Nightwing asked.

“No, we don’t need him. We need Krypto,” Batman said plainly, and pulled out a special dog whistle. Blowing it, Krypto was at his side in an instant, barking happily.

“I thought you hated Krypto,” Nightwing pointed out, staring amusedly as his mentor tried to get the dog to stop rubbing against him.

“I do, but that doesn’t mean he’s not useful every now and then.” With that said, Batman had the dog sniff at one of the few leaves he spared, and let him fly off towards its original source.

Poison Ivy didn’t stand a chance, and before long, both heroes found her desperately trying to get Krypto to stop humping her.

Ignoring her cries, Batman found the item on the ground nearby, and left to stand on the balcony. Nightwing followed him, chuckling softly, and then looking at the ring his mentor held in his hand.

The ring was made of gold and had a piece of circular, green kryptonite protected in a special casing. It also had an inscription on the inside that said, ‘To My Shining Star, My Love, My Pain.’

“Where did you come up with the idea for that?” Nightwing asked, admiring the ring.

“From a dream he had on his birthday.”

“The day you two first got together?”

Nodding, Batman added, “It was the first thing he saw. First little detail he told me.”

“Wow,” Nightwing responded, then asked after a particular cry behind them, “Are we going to stop Krypto anytime soon?”

“No,” the Dark Knight answered.

 

\----Same night, Justice League----

Superman found it enjoyable when he was on monitor duty with Flash, because not only did he have someone that amused him, but he had another friend he could confide in.

“So it’s been a year, and how many days?” The speedster asked, referring to when Batman and Superman first dated.

“Twenty-two,” Kal answered, smiling.

“That’s great, but how much longer are you going to wait before asking?”

“I’m not sure. I was thinking perhaps on New Years. Oh, that reminds me, Bruce hasn’t made the invitations yet, but I know you’ll be on the guest list,” Kal explained.

“Really? Awesome, who’s going to be there?” Flash then asked.

Laughing, Superman said who else would attend.

 

\---- Eukanuba Tournament----

“I still don’t see what was wrong with that bulldog,” Bruce stated as both he and Clark were walking around in the arena, picking out possible mates for Krypto.

“Bruce, she was ugly,” Clark stated.

“So? The pups will scare the crap out of their enemies,” Bruce pointed out.

“You just want a bunch of scary Bat-mutts,” Clark said with a shake of his head.

“Bat-hounds, and there’s nothing wrong with scary,” Bruce corrected, and then asked, pointing towards a Doberman, “How about this bitch?”

“She’s nice, and do you have to say that word every time?” Clark whined.

“Yes, because it’s what they are, it’s perfectly legal, and I want to,” Bruce said, slightly brattish.

Kent wondered if this was part of the foppish act, or if his lover just liked seeing him ruffled up and embarrassed.

A quick screw in a broom closet confirmed it was the latter. They then decided upon a Dalmatian:

“She’s so cute and playful! She’s perfect for him!” Clark exclaimed.

“She’s just Krypto with spots,” Bruce stated plainly.

A Weimaraner:

“This one is so beautiful!” Again Clark exclaimed.

“Platinum Krypto,” Bruce muttered.

A Shiba-Inu:

“It’s Japanese!” Bruce exclaimed this time.

Clark said nothing.

A Cocker Spaniel:

“Now I can accept this. She’s cute, cuddly, and refined,” Bruce explained.

“I thought we were looking for Krypto?” Clark said in return.

A Golden Retriever, which neither argued over.

A Germen Shepard:

“Why would you object to this dog? I mean, this would be me if I were a dog,” Bruce stated.

“Are you saying I’m Krypto?” Clark asked.

“Yes, and Diana is that bitch we saw earlier.” Suddenly both laughed.

Finally, they chose the bulldog Bruce kept suggesting.

“I thought I told you—“ Clark started to object.

“I’ll give you another blowjob before the end of the show,” Bruce interrupted.

“Done,” Clark stated.

There was then the task of asking the owners of each dog if they’d be okay with breeding their dogs with Krypto. Of course, once they were informed it was Superman’s dog, they jumped at the chance.

Surprisingly enough, Krypto only wanted to breed with one of them. The bulldog, and in fact got so attached to her, that he refused to leave her owner’s home of residence for a good while. He was in love!

 

\----New Years Eve----

Even with a mate, Krypto was still one horny mutt, and it bothered Bruce that he couldn’t figure out why. It also annoyed him to have the dog there in his house, where it could destroy anything, but thankfully he had invited nothing but heroes to his party, and they distracted Krypto. They would also ask for a puppy.

Another thing that bothered him was that Clark seemed antsy, and was either looking for something that didn’t exist, or whispering things into Wally’s ear. Something had to be done about that.

So taking his son to the side, Bruce ordered, “Dick, I want you to intercept Wally. He’s the redhead next to Clark right now. They’re hiding something, and I want you to find out what it is from him.”

“Um, okay, which hero is he?” Dick asked, looking in Clark’s direction as discreetly as he could. The redhead was cute.

“The Flash, now go,” Bruce said firmly.

“Really? Cool,” the acrobat responded, having a few questions he’d like to ask the other hero, specifically about speed and…vibration.

“Hey, where did that guy go? The one that was next to Bruce,” Wally asked, trying to take his time in eating the butler’s cookies. They were addictive.

“Hm? Oh, that was his son, Dick,” Clark said, sipping his drink, and then added, “I don’t know where he went.”

“You mean that was Nightwing?!” the speedster nearly gasped.

“Yes, Batman’s protégé. Now are you going to help me try and remember where I put that ring?”

Wally shrugged, not knowing what to say.

Meanwhile, inside the kitchen, Tim, Kon and Bart had escaped the party with Krypto by their side. They also thought it was weird that the dog hadn’t stopped wanting to breed so they discussed it amongst themselves as to what the possible cause could be.

“Are you sure there isn’t anything in the Fortress of Solitude that explains this?” Tim asked.

“No, dude, either he’s been exposed to too much sun, or red kryptonite, whichever one of those. Nothing else, not even Ivy’s crap, can do this,” Kon replied.

“Well, maybe he’s been in the Fortress for too long. It is all white, and the sun’s rays could’ve reflected off of him,” Tim began to conclude.

“Or, it could be this cracked ring he has in his collar,” Bart interrupted, pulling out what appeared to be a gold ring with a red circular stone in the middle.

The casing it was in did appear cracked, and once it was out of Krypto’s collar, he promptly fell asleep. And Kon started looking at his friends in a whole different light.

“Oh crap, Bart! That’s red kryptonite! Any exposure to it could lead to—“ Tim tried to say, but was kissed by the half-Kryptonian next to him.

The speedster got the message, and frantically asked before he himself was kissed, “What do I do with it?!”

Trying to catch his breath, Tim exclaimed, “Give it to Bruce!”

“And meet us in the Batcave on the training mats,” Kon added, whisking off with Tim over his shoulder.

Bart was still for about three seconds, before running off and finding Mr. Wayne. The man was surprised to be handed the ring, and very suspicious of why the speedster was blushing, but Bart didn’t care. He just ran back into the kitchen and followed after his friends.

Bruce looked down at the ring in his hand, and was amazed at the resemblance it had to the ring he wanted to give to Clark. In fact, it was pretty much the same, except for the inscription and cracked stone.

It read, ‘To My Dark Knight, My Heart and Desire.’

It was then he looked up, and locked gazes with Clark.

‘You found my ring!’ He seemed to ask with his eyes.

‘Yes, is it for me?’ Bruce asked back, continuing their silent conversation.

‘Of course. Who else would I give it to?’ Clark said with a loving look.

‘Does it go on my right or my left?’ Bruce then questioned, gesturing to his hands.

‘Your left,’ Clark said lifting his left hand, and seemed to ask, ‘Do you accept?’

Putting the ring on the appropriate finger, Bruce lifted his hand to display he had it on, and with a small wave said, ‘Of course I do. Now get over here.’

The rest of the room didn’t seem to matter as Clark walked over to the man he loved. He kissed him upon his arrival, not caring that others would see because they were more than likely too drunk or busy waiting for the countdown.

“I think I know why your dog has been acting up recently,” Bruce said when they finally broke apart.

“Why’s that?” Clark replied, thinking of how nice it would be to just screw his lover against the wall right then and there. Despite Diana and J’onn, who were staring happily at them.

“The casing for the red kryptonite on this ring is cracked. And knowing you, you hid it in his collar. Poor thing, probably won’t wake up for days.”

Gasping, Clark stated, “And you let me be exposed to it?”

“Of course. I want to begin the New Year with one hell of a bang, so to speak. Now before you protest any further, reach into my pocket and tell me what you find,” Bruce explained, feeling more than a little turned on himself.

Doing so, Clark found a small box that contained a ring. It was the ring from his dream.

“Oh Bruce, it’s exactly the way I dreamt it,” he said wistfully.

“I wanted to give it to you on your birthday, but you beat me to the question,” Bruce admitted, and placed the ring onto his lover’s fingers.

10…9…8…

“I love you, Bruce.”

“I…”

5…4…3…

“…love you, too.”

2…1!!

With that said, they brought in the New Year with a kiss.

“By the way, do you know what was wrong with Bart?”

“Um, he’s with Tim and Kon right now.”

“Oh, doing what?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“…Where are Dick and Wally?”

“Doing the same thing Tim, Bart, and Kon are doing, except in the study, not the cave.”

“…damn, they beat us.”

-End

**Author's Note:**

> I'm thinking of writing an extended edition of this, because looking back on it, there are a lot of things I want to add and fix. Let me know in comments if I should just rewrite this or let the extended edition be its own post.


End file.
